Got tired of my fucking phone replacing fucking with duck-ing text replacement ftw https://t.co/VmLhXN6bwn
Stepping outside this morning I invented 3 new curse words have liberally started to use quiznak from Voltron.
Getting ready for my lecture tonight. Dumped my coffee on my textbook. ? https://t.co/UvCsWIuK4m
@stephenncrowley I did this. Now I have a lot less friends on Facebook. Funny how I’m supposed to be the liberal triggered snowflake but they get angry and block/de-friend me. ?
@fpatrick Yeah that’s the only notification I get. Everything else is off. But the only people who have my cell I usually want to hear from
@fpatrick Best decision I made was turning off email notifications on my phone. You never need to be as connected as you think you do.
What’s the over/under on Trump resigning this weekend?
@CAwkward Overwhelmed and trying to not do that deer-in-headlights thing
My scorecard from 7/20/65. Sitting in bleachers when Stottlemyre hit inside park grand slam. RIP. https://t.co/vEuqzcDkim
As a father in a diverse city, I get the privilege of seeing kids of all walks of life, every race and gender and class. And one thing unites all these kids: they’re all dipshits who won’t zip up their coats when it’s cold as hell.